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I stopped writing, I stopped drawing, I stopped trying to have deep insights about life. It's a hell of a lot easier to just memorize my drugs and grow up to be a pharmacist making 100k+ by 24. I only hop on tumblr when I'm feeling down, and I only realize how much my life lacks when I start to feel myself fall. Someone show me a good author.
Just sitting outside smoking and thinking. I always go back and forth from feeling completely in fucking control of my life to seeing myself as a helpless straggler being tossed in waves of confusion. Lately I feel like I have everything planned, and if i just follow through in the motions I’ll be just fine. What is the point if it all though? The only things I’ve seen that are absolute and everlasting are that people will hurt you or leave you, money is both an end as well as a means for almost all things, and that if you learn to control things and manipulate situations then you are one step ahead of everyone else. I suppose thinking deep and trying to figure out why we’re here and what the point of our existence is can work out well for some but what if there is no point? We can’t find proof of a life beyond our own, the only thing we can fully understand is this broken existence we have now. So I guess I’ll continue on in my own shallow way, try to get a 100k job, buy things I don’t need, care for the people I love regardless of the consequence, and try my hardest to be as good as a person can be when surrounded by others that are just as flawed as I am. So yeah, life is gonna hit me pretty hard soon so I guess I’ll just try and enjoy the little moments while I can. I’m done with my rant for the night now, I’m gonna go dream up a perfect world for a bit. I’m sure most of you will be in it, I always get the strangest guest stars.. Goodnight tumblr.
